Saturday, November 17, 2012

My Father 1923 - 2012

Last week I laid my Father to rest. He was 89 years old and had a very good life I suppose you could say. He was self employed the last 50 years of his life he owned an auto salvage /tow truck business  up untill he semi retired in the late 70's but then he did scrapping and used car sales untill he started to lose his sight in the early 2000's . Than we all watched as he slowly shrunk into a tiny little representation of his former self. It wasn't an easy show to watch  . My Mother and his wife of 68 years tried her best to care for him but she has a weak heart and just could not do everthing she needed to do so 'about a year ago we put him in assited living.And as many of you may have witnessed once a person goes into assited living it usually speeds up the dieing process . My father and I had a stormy first 30 years together I personally think he hated me and I dredded to see him coming. Altho we had some good times during that period I can't put a finger on any one thing. I was in a nutshell everything He did not want in a Son . I played music in a rock band starting the summer between the 6th. grade and my middle school debut .That was about 1965 he hated the thought of having a long haired hippy in his family and went out of his way to make sure I knew it. Me of course being of the same blood responded the way you would expect .It was not pretty to watch. I really thought things would get better when I married and left home but I was wrong . I did not know it then but it was the fact we where both in the same town . That marrage only lasted 6 years but I did give him a Grand Daughter. In 1980 I married my wife and the one person in the world I would die for After 4 years marrage we gave him onother Grand Daughter .None of this seemed to Improve our relationship. In 1986 I was offered a job in Las Vegas Nv. so I took it he wouldn't even say good by the day I left .I really didn't care to be honest I hated the thought of moving down to such a big city I had never known any thing else and was scared to death. To be quite honest if it had not been for my Wife I probly would not have stayed. But instead we spent 18 years there and still miss it today. Some time during our time in Vegas my Father decided He liked me I really didn't do anything to change things We started spending time on the phone and they (Dad & Mom) Would come for visits as often as they could and we would like wise try to make a trip up north atleast once a year.By I think 2005 we started our plans to move to Roseburg Oregon By then his health had already started to fail and he only got to come and visit us here twice and both times he was kinda like a lost puppy. He really did'nt function well out side his own home. I understand I don't either.Dispite everthing that transpired between him and I over the years I loved him very much and will miss him. Words cann't express how I feel as I write this it's hard to cover 89 years in a few lines and I know his life would probly fill a book But at this time all I can say GOODBY DAD ....     Jim L Goff  1923-2012

1 comment:

Dale Moskalyk said...

Wow man that was close to being something I could'a wrote. Dad wasn't much for my long hair and band stuff either. He ended having a stroke and I was able to help my mom take care of him. All though very sad to see it did help us stop [or at least ease] the hating. I'm sorry your dad passed, but I'm glad some good blood developed.